Far

I was asleep a minute ago, in my chamber, at the back of the vessel. Oh! Miraculous vessel, the vessel that took me far away, away from the land I so dearly long for. The vessel that took me so far away from home, with no promise to take me back. As I alight from my comfortable nest, I retreat to the only window in the room, so small yet with the biggest meaning; to look for my Earth - my material alpha, my organic omega. It seems strange, even momentarily funny, that I am in the very place I thought Heaven would be. Up. I stare out of the window. I see black. Black, empty nothingness. When I crane my neck, to look at the vessel on a parallel line, I can see the words COLUMBIA printed on it. How bright they shine, though there is no light. How bright they shine, though they are black. Instead of light, all around me, like a castaway at sea with no landscape but water, I look onward to a perpetual night. Oh! Where is my sun ?

----

It seems like yesterday. Just yesterday. It seems like yesterday that I said goodbye to my mother, and told her that I would be back safe. Where was I going ? Far away, in every sense of the phrase. To space, where there is black nothingness. To Mars, where there is blank, empty, cold, nothingness. Oh! How I wish I had never said bye, but stayed on Earth, where the comfort of my mother's embrace is ever near. I promised her I would be back before her Birthday. Oh! But it seems like yesterday, so near, but I can never go back.

----

Our mission to Mars had failed. I was to explore, explore Mars, along with a team. Oh! Wonderful team! Wouldn't it have been better if we had never been a team ? But we were one, and so we had to go to Mars, away from home, my brown, ruffled, doormat. I long for my doormat.

But how could it go wrong ? Everything was checked! The foam was not supposed to come loose, it was not supposed to damage the vessel! But it did. I wish I hadn't said bye, but had stayed on Earth, away from this tangled mess that I am in now. It is more unwanted than a fisherman's birdnest. Where do I go now ? Home. What do I do know ? Wait till I get home. But home is so far away!

----

I am like the weary voyager - the one trudging on. I brave circumstances to reach the place I saw would save me. The place that would make me. Only, I am fighting to go back home. Our technical experts, what experts, were doing everything possible to get back home. Home. Where I belong, and where I long to be. I am trudging on, braving circumstances, to ensure that I have somewhere to be. At least.

----

OH NO!
There is a rope. The rope tugs.
I wish to go back home.
The rope tugs. What is the rope ?
I need to go back home.
The rope is a bridge.
I want my home.
The rope is a bridge to doom.

----

Oh! Magnificent vessel! Must thou falter now ? Is thy purpose to solely transport, but not survive ? Oh! Magnificent vessel! Must thou falter now ?

----

"We are close!" cried one of the technical experts. His voice faltered. I so desperately wanted it to be promising, powerful, dominating, assuring, but it lacked conviction.

"FAITH!" I cried.

We were nearing. I could see the blue-green-white mass that lived. I could see life in this black nothingness. Somewhere, beneath those clouds was my home, was my mother. So close! Home!

"FAITH! FAITH! FAITH!" I cried. "HOME!"

But his voice faltered. As soon as he announced our arrival into the Earth's atmosphere.

"Oh no." It squeaked. His voice was reduced to a squeak. Mouse! A squeaking mouse. Before anything could be asked, there was an explosion. No, not a physical explosion, but one that can be felt. Faith was lost. Hope and trust were lost. And as soon as these were lost, we were encompassed.

----

I look right. Fire.
I look left. Red.
I look outside the window. Down. Fire.
I look up. Amber embers.

We are burning alive.

The rope tugs.

----

Home, oh Home, you have run away from me and I cannot keep up. Doormat, you too, have you also left me forlorn ? Oh, Mother! Hold me and tell me I'm dreaming. Oh Mother, wake me up, don't let me go the way we let Father go. Oh no. Mother, please. Don't let me break my promise.

----

The rope triumphed and it was over.

----

It was over. I returned to where I came from. But before that, I did many things, yes I did.

I breathed a final time.
I blinked a final time.
I looked down at my feet. I would miss my feet. They walked with me when I was alone, ran with me when I wanted to run away.
I let a tear down my cheek. Amongst the fire, there was water.
Candle. I lit it with the fire from my mind.
Imaginary candle.

I sang Happy Birthday to my Mother. I prayed. Prayed that it would reach her.

I prayed.

It was over.
Encompassed.
Black nothingness, now red hot fire.

Now black nothingness again.

----

Oh ! Miraculous vessel, Magnificent vessel, thou hath been devoured.

And from that moment on, for ever, through eternity, the sun stopped burning.
Frozen sun.

-------------------------

*Excuse the random topic, it was meant to be a composition for English Language, but it was too long, so I put it up here. =)

Tokio Hotel

Okay well, for those few of you who haven't heard of the apparently girl-sounding, girl-looking, girly band, Tokio Hotel is NOT a girl-sounding, girl-looking (well, maybe sometimes), girly band. In fact, they're a very, VERY good band. Unique too, I can't find any bands even remotely similar to them. I mean, which band has members that listened Aerosmith and Led Zeppelin at SIX years old ? Which band was formed when they were just 12 ? Which band played gigs in bars and clubs at TWELVE YEARS OLD ? Even if you hate them to the core, you have to admit that that's just plain remarkable. I mean, 18 year old people in bands have problems, and fight, and disband after just months of playing. It takes a lot to be a band: dedication, talent, an inclination towards music, and more. It's just amazing that Tokio Hotel could do all this at just twelve years old.

They recorded and produced their first EP themselves under the band name Devilish. And yes, it was corny, but they were young, everyone's mind worked like that when they were 12. With 7 songs, and 3 of them in English, they were well on their way, composing music and producing it. In 2003, when Bill Kaulitz (the lead singer) was around 13-14, he participated in a competition called "Star Search", which he lost in the quarter finals. However, this competition was aired on TV, and this publicity was just what Tokio Hotel needed. Attracting the attention of producer Peter Hoffmann, who saw potential in this band. Along with a team of producers (David Jost, Dave Roth and Pat Benzner [who have produced bands like The Corrs and Faith Hill]), he set out and put Tokio Hotel in a studio, for recording. There was no doubt that these four had talent, and so, with a new era in their life, they changed their name from Devilish to Tokio Hotel.

Not long after, in fact, in the same year, they were signed with Sony BMG, and recorded their first single, Durch Den Monsun (Through the Monsoon, English version: Monsoon), which after being released in 2005, reached #1 in Germany, and then Austria. Their next single, Schrei (English version: Scream) reached #5, and then they debuted with an album of the same name.

And this is where inspiration comes in. At an average age of 16, they released their first album. An album. An actual album, in the actual market, with actual songs. I would do loads to do that, I mean, being on stage is my dream. Playing music, my entire life. And they did it, at 16. They inspired many, MANY people, who they didn't even know, at 16 years old.

The album, with twelve songs, written by Bill and the producers, went platinum. They later released two more singles, Rette Mich (English version: Rescue Me), and Der Letzte Tag (English version: Final Day). Both of them reached #1.

In 2007, they released another album, Zimmer 483 (Room 483), which ALSO reached #1. The singles from this album, Uebers Ende Der Welt (English version: Ready, Set, Go! [which reached #1]), Spring Nicht (English version: Don't Jump), and An Deiner Seite (Ich Bin Da) (English version: By Your Side), are fantastic songs, with amazing structure and melody. Bill's vocal lines are some of the best I have heard in ages; the lyrics are brilliant too. They then released two English albums, Scream and Room 483. The singles were Monsoon, the English version of their big break, Ready, Set, Go! and By Your Side.

Tokio Hotel received two nominations at the MTV EMAs: Best Band, and InterAct. They won InterAct. At 18 years old. They won an EMA.

At the EMAs, they played their song Monsoon, a stunning performance, with amazing technical assistance and stage antics. It was the best performance that evening, and I'm just not saying it. It's a fact.

Well, I'm sure, by now, you'll be like "Great ! Is the music any good ?" Well, actually, their music is brilliant. It's amazing. If you'd like me to give you a list of songs to download, I will. Actually, I will give you one. It will be long and tiring for you to read, but you can come here whenever you want something to download. People say that Bill sounds like a girl, which is true only to a certain extent. He doesn't sound like a girl, but his voice hadn't cracked on many of their songs, and so, his voice sounds a little babyish. People say Bill looks like a girl, but since when does looks interfere with music ? I don't mind him dressing the way he does at all, he probably has his reasons. And it isn't PROPER girly dressing, it's actually gothicish. He doesn't wear skirts and dresses and tube-tops and stuff like that.

After reading all this, I bet you're wondering what that thing at the top of the post is. Well, here goes. There are a good many fans of Tokio Hotel in Dubai, and I know it. I know it would be amazing if Tokio Hotel could come to Dubai, and we need to show Tokio Hotel that there are people here who do want them to come. It would be amazing, watching the people who inspire you, no longer pixels on a screen, but in front of you. Tokio Hotel has many fans, and this would make those fans' dreams come true. And you can make them come true, all you have to do is one small little thing. All you have to do is click on the "Demand it!" and follow through with the instructions provided, and you'll be helping a whole lot. Please do so, it would make so many people happy. Even if you don't like them, do it for us =P We'll be grateful, really. Thank you.

The list of songs. Okay, some songs have an English version, and some don't. However, all their German songs are on YouTube, with subtitles. I'm not entirely sure of which songs are available in English, but I'll give you a list with the best of what I know. The bold letters are the titles, and the other stuff is just information. Enjoy !

1. Schrei - (Tr: Scream) English version: Scream *
2. Durch Den Monsun - (Tr: Through the Monsoon) English version: Monsoon *
3. Leb die Sekunde - (Tr: Live the Second) English version: Live Every Second *
4. Rette Mich - (Tr: Rescue Me) English version: Rescue Me *
5. Freunde Bleiben - (Tr: Stay Friends) English version unavailable. *
6. Ich bin nicht Ich - (Tr: I am not Me) English version unavailable. *
7. Jung und Nicht Mehr Jugendfrei - (Tr: Young and No More Youth-Approved) English version unavailable. *
8. Der Letzte Tag - (Tr: The Final Day) English version: Final Day *
9. Unendlichkeit - (Tr: Eternity) English version unavailable.
10. Beichte - (Tr: Confessions) English version unavaiable. *
11. Schwarz - (Tr: Black) English version: Black
12. Frei Im Freien Fall - (Tr: Freely in Free Fall) English version unavailable. *
13. Hilf mir Fliegen - (Tr: Help me Fly) English version unavailable. *
14. 1000 Meere - (Tr: 1000 Seas) English version unavailable. *
15. Geh - (Tr: Go) English version unavailable.
16. Uebers Ende Der Welt - (Tr: After the End of the World) English version: Ready, Set, Go! *
17. Totgeliebt - (Tr: Dead Love) English version: Love is Dead *
18. Spring Nicht - (Tr: Don't Jump) English version: Don't Jump *
19. Heilig - (Tr: Sacred) English version: Sacred
20. Wo Sind Eure Hande - (Tr: Where are your Hands?) English version: Raise your Hands *
21. Stich Ins Gluck - (Tr: Stab in Luck) English version: On the Edge
22. Ich Brech Aus - (Tr: I Break Away) English version: Break Away *
23. Reden - (Tr: Talk) English version unavailable. *
24. Vergessene Kinder - (Tr: Forgotten Children) English version: Forgotten Children *
25. An Deiner Seite (Ich bin Da) - (Tr: By Your Side (I'm there)) English version: By Your Side *
26. In Die Nacht - (Tr: In the Night) English version unavailable. *

* Songs you MUST get.

Once you get these songs, and begin to like Tokio Hotel, as I'm sure you will, make sure you get an album or two of theirs. Tokio Hotel are a band that aspire to grow, and make more dreams come true. They need your support. And plus, it'll be authentic material for you to keep. Trust me, the albums are amazing, and if mine ever got lost, I wouldn't stay happy with the songs I have, I'd go out and buy those albums again. I mean, I got my Schrei album, and my Zimmer 483 album from FRANCE ! And I live in Dubai !! =P Either way, search and you will find =)

Phew, that was tiring but fun. Enjoy !! =D

P.S. If the gadget at the top doesn't work, http://eventful.com/performers/P0-001-000005048-4/demand

The Curtain Falls

December 21st, 2007. Happy Birthday Mom.
December 21st, 2007. Almost 10 days to 2008.

2007. What can I say ? So much has happened ! It seems so unrealistic. Sometimes I wonder how it all went by, so fast. It doesn't even feel like it's ending, it feels like there's something big waiting for me. And I don't think I can say goodbye to 2007, maybe I won't have to. I've grown to like so many things, forget so many things, recall so many things, miss so many things, make terrible mistakes, do amazing things, I recorded my first song in 2007. Schmizel played its first gig in 2007. I didn't sleep at night for the first time in 2007. Desert Rock - 2007. I've made so many great, amazing, wonderful, angelic friends. I have had to say goodbye to quite a few too. I will say goodbye to quite a few too. Things have grown within me, things I have lost have been found. Things I have found have been lost, and lots of other things have begun. When I begin to think of how much has happened this year, I am lost in nostalgia. There is a whole web of events, linking themselves to each other, and I wonder. If something hadn't happened, something so small. Like the SKARDENS. If that hadn't happened, no Schmizel. Like this, there are many things that I am so lucky to have.

I don't think it is right to continue, to recall EVERY single moment in 2007 as of now, it hasn't ended. There are still almost 10 days left, and as far as I know, 10 days is a long time. Mistakes can be corrected, promises can be made. I will make a list of events and the smallest things soon, but not today. Today, I study.

If I can.

10 days left. Then 365.25 days are gone.

Personal message: "It'll all be okay" - anon. Well, that anon is a very integral part of my life, and that anon hasn't said it to me yet, but I'm going to try and believe it.