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It shouldn't be so far away.

Actually, screw that. It must be. It is, but it's also the most internal,  decision anybody will ever make; of course, I'm wrong. Every time you move from one moment to the next, you are a fluid of nothingness. Yes, an irrationality. We are not rational beings. We aspire to understand purpose; it's ironic. We aspire to something that is intrinsic, we view it externally; and so it replaces itself and becomes external; this is happiness.

What has defined many moments in these past 6 years, even though the most recent ones have been colourless; has been a wantless desire. Of course, I'm wrong; and it makes sense that I should be wrong.

How else do I know that I have been defined by what I seek to define; that that very instance of reconciliation that I seek for, is just a fantasy perceived by the same mind that views reality. Internally, I will never cease to long for that distant dream. It isn't really reconciliation though; that's a powerful word.

It is the process of requiting. It will never come.

But oh, how I long for it. And oh, how it has already been.